Imagine being more at ease in your own skin regardless of the circumstances. Imagine what you could achieve. How much better you would feel about yourself.? In this blog we will explore the imposter syndrome and how to overcome it.
And here is my YouTube video on the subject
What is imposter Syndrome?
If you google imposter syndrome you will get a gazillion answers. In a nutshell, imposter syndrome is a question in your mind that you are basically going to get caught. That people will find out that you don’t know what you are talking about, whether you are in a job or as a parent you feel like you should not be there and you feel like others could do it so much better.
I know about imposter syndrome from a personal perspective. After doing a lot of work on myself I was able to finally shift it. I felt like I was going to get found out a lot of self-doubt about my ability to do pretty much everything.
For me it was combined with external frame of reference. This refers to giving away a lot of one’s feelings of how one view themselves. I looked for acceptance from others rather than trusting myself.
- Embrace and acknowledge the chatter
The chatter is coming from your unconscious mind. Your unconscious mind is like a four year old that is hard to ignore. It’s biological and primary purpose is to keep you safe. It tries to save you from perceived danger. Chatter is a way for all your self-limiting beliefs which is linked to self-doubt, self-belief. “Who are you to be doing this”, shouts your unconscious mind.
I don’t mean for you to believe the chatter. What I mean is to embrace it as it is trying to protect you. The unconscious mind doesn’t like pain. It likes pleasure. This perception of you going into danger is really what’s making the imposter syndrome come up. A great thing to say is to your unconscious mind is “thank you to bringing it to my attention but I am ok. “ If you ignore it and resist it, it will push back.
2. Drop the comparison
Quite often we will say I don’t know what I’m doing, but compared to what? We are unconsciously comparing ourselves to our colleagues, people in our industry, business owners or other parents. Social media has done a lot to feed the imposter syndrome. Just remember this : no one puts up the mess of real life. Everyone is putting up the highlights reel. The best bits of their life. And you take that highlights reel and compare it to your mess. You compare it your backstage. In the days before Social media comparing ourselves was “keeping up with the Joneses” who were your perceived perfect neighbors next door. But now the Joneses are there 24/7 in your back pocket in the form of social media. You are running your own race. You have no idea what is happening to someone behind closed doors. Don’t buy into the perfect Instagram accounts.
3. Embrace imperfection
Imposter syndrome can come from a comparison to a standard of expectation. Embrace the process and take imperfect action. Learn from it. Grab onto those mistakes, this is how we learn. Put up your hand and ask for help. It is not a weakeness.
4. Ask for help
We often say to ourselves “ I shouldn’t need help.” And should is a word full of judgement, do d yourself a favors and drop the shoulds.
5. Embrace and acknowledge your strengths
When we get caught in the imposter syndrome is we are running through a list of our weaknesses. It’s ok if you work on your weaknesses and improve. But if you just focus on your weaknesses you are going to stay at that level. Instead I want you to make a list just as long of your strengths. What are you great at? We all have them. It might feel bad to say you are good at something. In Australian we have the “tall poppy syndrome” which means if you say you are good at something you are being arrogant. You can still highlight your strengths without being arrogant.
Hopefully these tips will help you to start shifting your imposter syndrome so you can free yourself to do your best work whatever that might be. If you need help getting theprocess started, I would love to hear from you. Simply drop me an email Cynthia@createactionnow.com.au
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